that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
