No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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