it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize