I want to have your abortion
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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