No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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