i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
