Well douche your snatch and let's go!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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