Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
