hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize