Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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