There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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