I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
