whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize