just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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