you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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