she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
