By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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