Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
