like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Will exercising make me less horny?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
