he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
