We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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