Whoa Z and x make the same sound
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
