Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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