i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
