The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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