Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
