she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
The dick lei will go down in squad history
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
