I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
