Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
