Quick, to the slutcave!
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
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