Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize