I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
