Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
false alarm. still invincible.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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