i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
