its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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