he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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