Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
