Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize