Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
