I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize