We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
