it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I think people are normalizing furries
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
