You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
