did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
