Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
