Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize