im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
