Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
