she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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