she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Randomize
