they said they heard you say put it in my butt
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
