i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize