she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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