first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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