i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
