it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize