FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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