Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
