What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Randomize
