Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
