At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
