dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
