I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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