Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
