Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
