I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
