Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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