i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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