Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
