I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
