Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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