i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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