I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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