If that was your dad, he is hot
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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