my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
